You know the one.

The kid who is screeching like a banshee in public, running around like a madman and his mother chasing him going Sssshhhh! and Stop that!.  Then they think it’s funny that you’re chasing them so they run faster and farther away, crawl under something where you are unable to reach them.  Then when you do manage to drag them out from wherever, it’s chaos all over again.

I’m the Mom that other people look at with deep sympathy because they’ve been there (and are thanking their lucky stars that those days are over…or maybe they just left their kid at home?).  Or roll their eyes and give me that look.  You know THAT look that they give to THAT Mom with THAT kid.

The terrible twos really are terrible and have really been a challenge for me.  I really DON’T KNOW what to do to make my kid calm down.  I don’t know what to do to make him sit still and be good while in public.

Short of never (never!) taking him out in public again, what do I do?

• I chase him.
• I “whisper yell” at him. You all know what I’m talking about…whisper yelling. Admit it, you’ve done it.
• I bribe him. That never works either, but I always try. Just in case. I’d buy him a freakin’ pony if he just sat in the cart and didn’t yell “MINE!” to everything we passed.

That’s all I can do.  I assure you if I grab him and force him to do something he doesn’t want he will let out a deafening, eardrum-piercing shriek that will make dogs howl, babies cry and ambulances and police cars show up expecting the worst.  In fact, I’m pretty sure all of you, wherever you are, have heard my kid scream before.

And I won’t leave the store without my purchases…because that just means I have to come back and there is a 50% chance I’d have to bring him with me.  Nope.  No way.  Not gonna’ do it. We all have to suffer now and then, so all of you giving me the stink-eye are just going have to deal with it.

• If you see me at the store and I’m crying…you know why.

• If you see me at a restaurant on my hands and knees “whisper yelling”…you know why.

• If you find a screeching, shoeless toddler running around…it’s probably my kid….Thank you for retuning to my general vicinity.

Every grocery trip, restaurant visit and car ride ends with one (me) or both of us in tears…and shoeless (him).

Deep sigh. This too shall pass…hopefully.
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The time, care, and good humor given to this blog post was generously donated by our favorite “Fairy Blog Mother,” Annette Burke. Visit the Fairy Blog Mother blog for great giveaways, honest product reviews and other things that may make you question her sanity.  Enjoy!

Best,

MPGodfrey & Team Malt-O-Meal