I Am THAT Mom…With THAT Kid
Posted by The Fairy Blog Mother on July 7th 2009 in Blog
You know the one.
The kid who is screeching like a banshee in public, running around like a madman and his mother chasing him going Sssshhhh! and Stop that!. Then they think it’s funny that you’re chasing them so they run faster and farther away, crawl under something where you are unable to reach them. Then when you do manage to drag them out from wherever, it’s chaos all over again.
I’m the Mom that other people look at with deep sympathy because they’ve been there (and are thanking their lucky stars that those days are over…or maybe they just left their kid at home?). Or roll their eyes and give me that look. You know THAT look that they give to THAT Mom with THAT kid.
The terrible twos really are terrible and have really been a challenge for me. I really DON’T KNOW what to do to make my kid calm down. I don’t know what to do to make him sit still and be good while in public.
Short of never (never!) taking him out in public again, what do I do?
- I chase him.
- I “whisper yell” at him. You all know what I’m talking about…whisper yelling. Admit it, you’ve done it.
- I bribe him. That never works either, but I always try. Just in case. I’d buy him a freakin’ pony if he just sat in the cart and didn’t yell “MINE!” to everything we passed.
That’s all I can do. I assure you if I grab him and force him to do something he doesn’t want he will let out a deafening, eardrum-piercing shriek that will make dogs howl, babies cry and ambulances and police cars show up expecting the worst. In fact, I’m pretty sure all of you, wherever you are, have heard my kid scream before.
And I won’t leave the store without my purchases…because that just means I have to come back and there is a 50% chance I’d have to bring him with me. Nope. No way. Not gonna’ do it. We all have to suffer now and then, so all of you giving me the stink-eye are just going have to deal with it.
- If you see me at the store and I’m crying…you know why.
- If you see me at a restaurant on my hands and knees “whisper yelling”…you know why.
- If you find a screeching, shoeless toddler running around…it’s probably my kid….Thank you for retuning to my general vicinity.
Every grocery trip, restaurant visit and car ride ends with one (me) or both of us in tears…and shoeless (him).
Deep sigh. This too shall pass…hopefully.
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The time, care, and good humor given to this blog post was generously donated by our favorite “Fairy Blog Mother,” Annette Burke. Visit the Fairy Blog Mother blog for great giveaways, honest product reviews and other things that may make you question her sanity. Enjoy!
Best,
MPGodfrey & Team Malt-O-Meal
July 8th, 2009 at 4:16 am
Ahhahaha! Fewer things in life are funnier than the stark reality of taking a child out in public. Mine’s older but I was like you, there is no way I was going to do the “well, we’ll just leave and come back later when you can act nicer” thing. Why, I’d just be setting myself up again!
Just you wait till he learns how to use *words* to his advantage. I remember the transition so well… We had made it to the cash register, both of us soaking in his tears when he screamed at the top of his lungs, “HELP! I can’t believe this is happening to me!”
July 8th, 2009 at 6:33 am
Enjoyed this article. Poor thing! I’m lucky to have one that is usually great when we go anywhere (maybe I won’t be so lucky with the next one), but I can relate to the shoe thing — we’ve lost 2 pairs in just a couple of weeks . . . they’re out there littering the floors of stores where they were thrown out of the stroller!
July 8th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
I love this! Great post..you definitely helped some moms out there know that they are THAT mom with THAT kid too;)
July 9th, 2009 at 6:52 am
Been there – Done that! It’s only better (and funnier and more frustrating) when there are TWO of them!! Great article Annette… love your blog, so happy to see you here!
July 17th, 2009 at 7:49 am
I find this a rather annoying article. I have brought 5 kids through the 2 year old stage and found it such a fun stage I wish I could keep a 2 year old around permantly. My experience is that kids will be as naughty and as bratty as their parents let them be. Just so you know, the stage doesn’t pass — it may take on a different face, but it doesn’t pass. Bratty toddlers make bratty teens. If you’re looking for help on raising your children, I highly recommend the book “Don’t Make me Count to the Three”.
September 6th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
I know exactly how you feel. When my first child was at that stage, I resorted to “the leash” (A.K.A toddler harness) Of course I got the special “OMG how could you?” look from people but I did not care because I knew where she was at all times. AND she knew she could only go so far. I only had to use for about a month then she got the message. Child #2 is only 19 months but I have figured out rather quickly that they are polar opposites. So….. that said, do what works best for you and your children!!!! There will always be someone around telling you how you should raise your kids. Trust me!
October 5th, 2009 at 7:33 am
I couldn’t stop laughing – the tears are still rolling down my face! I AM THAT WOMAN TOO! My kid is very sweet and lovable, but he still has those terrible two tantrums in public that make me reconsider selling him on Ebay…
But I have now learned to ignore him and pretend his tantrum doesn’t exist. If he gets really loud, I just throw him over my shoulder and take him outside till he runs himself down. Always works after a good minute or two… or 5.