Moms, Are you Taking Enough Time for Yourselves?

Making Time for yourself is so important. In order to be happy and healthy you need to do things for yourself. But, this can be very difficult for many mothers. Putting others first is part of our job description, right? Wrong. We keep saying to ourselves if there is time left over at the end of the day for me then I will do something for myself. But truthfully, when does that time every come? Usually never.

Truth is most mothers give so much to their children, husband and households that there is usually never time left for themselves. And, the fact is that this is not good for them or their families. Not only could you as a mother be suffering, but chances are if you are not taking time for yourself than not only are you suffering, but your children and your husband are suffering as well.

To help you understand this I will use a financial analogy…

We are all aware that with a bank account you need to make regular deposits in order to make withdraws. If you keep making withdraws from your bank account, but you rarely are making deposits you are going to overdraw your account. However, if you make regular deposits than you will have plenty of money to make withdraws. When you think about it that way it’s pretty simple…. you can only withdraw what you have.

Well, emotionally and mentally it is the same way…… you can’t keep withdrawing if you haven’t made regular deposits.

In other words, if you aren’t taking time for yourself and giving YOU what YOU need you will run out of energy to give anything to others. You won’t have the energy to give quality to your husband and your kids. Sure, you might do the basics and you might even be able to physically do the movements, but your energy and heart won’t be in it. Your family will feel it and in the end everyone will suffer.

The Effects of not Making Time for Yourself

If you don’t make time for yourself eventually you will feel the consequences. Some of the signs you are not making enough time for yourself include:

• Unhappiness
• Lack of energy
• Feeling of being Overwhelmed
• Frustration
• Life feels out of balance
• Feeling Undervalued
• A feeling of Helplessness
• Life begins to Feel out of Control
• Emotional, Mental and Physical Exhaustion
• Stressed out
• Less motivated
• Depressed
• Begin to feel Resentful

How to Make Time for Yourself

The biggest excuse mothers have for not making time for themselves is Time. And, I too am guilty of it. Mothers have a tendency to wait until they have enough time left over after doing their other duties to do things for themselves. Unfortunately, with a mother’s busy life this time rarely if ever happens. So, the only way to insure that this time happens is to schedule it. Just as you would schedule a dentist appointment for your child or plan for an afternoon nap for your toddler you must schedule time for yourself, and stick to it!! Otherwise, chances are your special time won’t happen.

You don’t need a lot of time, but time is needed, indeed. Ideally, It would be wonderful if you could make some time for yourself everyday. Even if it is just for a 15 minute bubble bath. Or, 20 minutes to read your favorite gossip magazine uninterrupted. This could be enough to rejuvenate you and give you energy to get on with your day with a smile.

However, being the busy mother I am I know that sometimes being able to find time to yourself every day can be difficult. Your me time needs to be uninterrupted by husbands, children, pets, job and any other responsibilities you have. You need to be thinking of only one person. And, that person is you. Even if the kids are downstairs playing and out of your hair your thoughts are on them and the responsibilities they bring. That is not good enough.

And, that is why I believe that planning for the big event is so important. It is a big deal. You are a big deal. Plan for you and stick to it. Let your entire household know about it. Put it on your family’s bulletin board or fridge as a reminder. A few days before the big day remind them and remind them again the day before. Everyone in the family must know that this event is important and that it will not change.

How Much Time For Yourself?

You should make time for yourself everyday, even if it is only 30 minutes. But, I know how life is as a busy mother. Sometimes even giving yourself 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to yourself can be difficult. This time must be uninterrupted by husbands, children, pets, job and any other responsibilities you have. There needs to be no distractions. So, if time daily is not an option you don’t need to give up on the idea of your “Me Time“. You will just need to plan a day once a week instead.

If you can’t plan 30 minutes a day for yourself then give yourself your “Me Time” once a week. You can plan 4 to 6 hours (or more if needed) to yourself one day a week to do whatever you would like to do. Just make sure to give yourself enough time. And, make sure to put it in your weekly schedule so as not to plan anything else for that time. And, remember, you need to be free from any interruptions. So, if you need to leave the house then do so. Any distractions will not allow you to completely think about yourself and what you are doing. Distractions and interruptions such as children, husbands or job will completely ruin the benefits you will reap from doing something for yourself. So, removing the distractions is extremely important!!

What things you can do for yourself

There are so many things you can do for yourself. This is just a tiny list of things that many mothers enjoy doing for themselves. But, this list should give you the idea. With a little brainstorming you can be on your way to a happier healthier you.

• Meditation
• Get a Massage
• Spiritual Enrichment
• Start a Hobby
• Mom’s Day Out
• Yoga Class
• Get your Hair Done
• Take a Class
• Bubble Bath
• Spa Treatment
• Join a Library
• Do a Puzzle
• Join a Gym
• Start a Babysitting Coop with Neighbors
• Go for a long Drive and Stop Anywhere or Nowhere
• Get your Nails Done
• Go for a Long Walk
• Paint
• Put on Music and Dance
• Rent a great movie.
• Have Lunch with a Friend
• Find / Start a Moms Group
• Go to a Museum

Again, this is just a tiny list. There are so many things you can do with your “me time“. The point is to do something to nourish yourself. Read, write, explore or relax. The point is to do something without having to think of anyone other than yourself. You aren’t being selfish doing this. As a matter of fact, you would be selfish not doing it. If doing something for you is going to make you a happy and healthier mom and wife…. then it would be selfish not to give yourself some time for yourself.

Sources:

• CNN.com from Health Magazine
• Mayo Clinic
• Discovery Health

Image above by Shayan (USA)

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 at 1:06 pm and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.